Learn to love feedback – even if it’s negative

When I began writing these columns, a friend warned me never to read the comments — “Readers have strong opinions and you may not like them.” I’m pleased to say I’ve completely ignored the advice. The more feedback I get, good and bad, the happier I am — it’s how you learn and develop.
During my 40-year executive career, I haven’t always been good at giving or receiving feedback. With my focus on business growth, I didn’t take enough time in the past to discuss people’s development or what they thought of my performance. It was a mistake I gradually rectified.
Today, building a feedback culture is key to everything I do with my investments, in my role as chairman, and in my mentoring and coaching. Just last week, at the end of our Growth Partner monthly investment meeting, I spent the final minute expressing my delight and thanks to the team for their hard work and the number of opportunities where they were making progress. Very little time is required to motivate that team.
I was fascinated to read about a growing trend for stock-picking based on employee satisfaction rather than just financial metrics. Irrational Capital, supported by data from the US banking giant JP Morgan, is backing companies that place a premium on staff morale — something that is vastly improved by a strong feedback culture.
In business, we’re too busy rushing between meetings and chasing decisions to give enough thought to each other. Or we’re too reticent, shying away from tough conversations so that instead of changing bad traits, they fester.
At all levels in an organisation, managers are not just there to do the job. We are there to get the best out of people, to build strong relationships with them. And the secret is to do so in 60 seconds — one minute set aside to praise or to reprimand, but never together because the recipient will remember only the negatives. I like the concept of the Emotional Bank Account. Just as we try to put more in our bank accounts than we take out, so giving people negative feedback is easier if there are already plenty of positive deposits.
If you’re praising an achievement or criticising a failure, do so as soon as possible after the act. That way, your employees will react better to your feedback (and ill-feeling won’t harden). The more colleagues feel that others care about and notice their work, the more motivated they become.
Keep feedback specific, direct and candid. If you start sentences with “maybe” or “you might want to”, advice is unlikely to be followed. The more honest you are, the more people will trust and respect you, and the more likely they will be to correct mistakes at speed.
Feedback needs to be timely, too, so don’t wait until half-year or year-end performance reviews. Doing it in real time enables your business to flourish. When things go wrong at work, you don’t cross fingers and hope for the best, you do something about it. So it is with individual performances.
Make it a dialogue, not a monologue. Be a good listener and encourage the sharing of opinions — you want to create an open culture of two-way communication. It could be worthwhile to role-play giving and receiving feedback, to understand how it could be delivered better.
When there’s room for performance improvement, don’t just issue directions. Ask constructive, open-ended questions, such as: “How do you think that meeting went?” or “What could have been done better?” Alternatively, if suggesting a new way of working, follow it with, “How does that sound to you?” Your question, the colleague’s answer and your response need only take a minute or so.
Try it this week: “Now you’re back from holiday, well refreshed, how are you feeling about things?” You will be amazed how that simple question can open up a really constructive conversation — goals that can be achieved, rather than simply problems that must be solved.
Next, put that feedback into practice by being proactive. Set goals that can be easily assessed in a minute, and write them down so that everyone knows their responsibilities. Follow up with colleagues and report positive change when you see it, or provide extra support if required. If you just care about business performance, you’ll miss opportunities to help others improve their own performance. It’s demotivating when you constantly tell people they need to push harder without getting to grips with how they can develop.
And leaders should always ask for performance feedback themselves, positive and negative, as often as possible. When I did recently, I was reminded that, as chairman, I should hold back my opinions and allow others to have their say first. I’ve also learnt to be less of the blunt Yorkshireman and ask open-ended questions rather than deliver my suggestions straight away.
Also, take a minute to give feedback to yourself after a meeting or event. Write down your thoughts and be honest about what you have learnt. Take responsibility for your personal improvement.
As chairman, feedback is not hard to take. The hard thing is to help my chief executive create an atmosphere and culture in which honest feedback can be given. It’s almost a virtuous circle –— give feedback to create stronger relationships, and the stronger those relationships become, the more constructive and regular the feedback. As a leader, there’s never a moment when you’re not learning so surround yourself with people whose honesty will help you grow. I’d also recommend Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minute Manager, which has great advice for building high-performance teams.
Taking feedback seriously is the sign of strong leadership, and if you help colleagues over-achieve, they will be more motivated and business performance will improve, too.
So, start thinking about meetings as a chance to do two things: get decisions made and help people become better at their jobs.
Richard Harpin is founder and chairman of HomeServe and Growth Partner, and owner of Business Leader magazine